Twelve People Arrested After Failing To Vote For Stephanie Roche In FIFA Goal Vote


stephanie roche

THANKS to emergency legislation put in place overnight by the Government, 12 treacherous bastards have been placed in prison following their failure to vote for Stephanie Roche’s goal which is up for the FIFA Pukas Award.

The ‘Roche 12’ were escorted through large crowds outside Pearse Street Garda station shortly after the 5.30pm voting deadline passed. There are unconfirmed reports that several of the detainees were injured by the angry mob.

“It’s makes you fucking sick,” shared angry mob attender and avid Twitter user Julia Nolan, “you have to vote for her, she’s Irish and she scored a deadly goal!”

It is believed one of people arrested, Rory Hamlin, will face the death penalty as not only did he refuse to vote for Roche’s goal in actually voted for James Rodriguez wonder strike for Columbia in the World Cup round of 16.

The legislation which punished all those Irish people who failed to vote for Roche also outlawed trying to judge each individual goal on their respective merits.

“Look, we’re proud of Stephanie, and the goal and that’s why we’ve made it illegal for you to try and like the other goals,” explained a Government spokesperson.

“If you try to engage in the voting process rationally or in an objective manor, you will be punished and jailed,” the spokesperson added.

In separate incidents, enthusiastic fans of Roche and her magnificent goal have been out in force intimidating anyone who had yet to vote for the Irishwoman.

It is believed many have forced the elderly to learn how to click a mouse, leaving them tied to a chair for hours with instructions to ‘never stopping fucking clicking’.

Many people were so desperate for Roche’s goal to win on merit alone that they actively sought ways to vote multiple times for the goals despite that being in clear violation of FIFA’s rules.

“I’m not sure if it’s connected to some sense of collective guilt that we as Irish people rarely give women in sport the support they deserve year round or throughout their career, so people get seriously overzealous,” said a man under the condition of anonymity, such was his fear of an attack being carried out on him for speaking out.

WWN cannot confirm reports that Ivan Yates was murdered following the expression of an opinion earlier today.