Christmas At Home With The Family Ruined By Family


christmas day

RESEARCHERS at the International Research Institute of Studies for International Research Studies have confirmed that the vast majority of Christmases spent at home with the family is absolutely fucking ruined by families.

“It is atypical to find a family that enjoys each other’s company for the duration of Christmas Day, in fact, we are still searching in our research for that family, if anyone knows of such a freakish anomaly we would love to hear from you,” explained head researcher Olaf Gunnarsson.

While most families set out to be civil to one another, making the most of their precious time together, often a small seemingly meaningless happening throws a family into combative chaos.

“We’ve seen that it can be something like someone drunkenly urinating on the presents but more often than not it is simply down to the fact that families can’t stand the sight of one another,” added Gunnarsson.

Further research suggests that the mixture of great television, generosity displayed in the form of gift giving and a beautifully prepared meal combine to make for a truly horrible time as it happens to involve those closest to you.

Many grown up children returning to the family home express a resigned and defeated attitude when it comes to the days surrounding Christmas and the day itself, with only a few holding out hope that they can watch Die Hard in peace at 1 am in the morning.

Parents that express confusion at the idea of Christmas time being a huge irritant to families are believed to be completely unaware that their children and other relations dread the day itself.

Christmas Day reaches its tension-filled peak when some mothers who have busily spent much of the day preparing a meal time their nervous breakdown to coincide with with an off the cuff comment from husbands.

“Commonly it is an exclamation of ‘why do I bother’ followed by tears and the threat of Turkey throwing, but thankfully only 49% of those breakdowns result in a Turkey being thrown out into the street where all the neighbours can see it,” confirmed Gunnarsson.

Researchers went on to confirm that 20% of family games of Cluedo end in actual murder.