TV Programmes Today 20% Worse At Parenting Children Than In The 90s


SHOCKING details from a survey carried out on parents has revealed that the television, long regarded as the third parent of children, is now as much as 20% worse at parenting than the 1990s.

While parenting experts have long since praised the ability of a television to entertain and mind children while parents just aren’t fucking arsed anymore, it seems its parenting abilities has diminished over time.

“I feel cheated,” admitted mother-of-three Lorna Donaldson, a Waterford native. “You know, ya plonk the child down in front of Shaun the Sheep and you’re thinking right I’ll go off to the shops for a bit and now I find out that it’s just not as good at babysitting kids as when I was a little one. Devastated.”

Parents have confessed outrage following a study from MIT in America, which conclusively proves that adults may now have to look after their children more closely.

“Ah, it’s a fucking hammer blow,” admitted father-of-one Richie Gormley, “I’d be in the kitchen on me laptop sorting through me porn, and I always thought, well the wee one is getting all the love and support he needs but now all of a sudden that is supposed to come from us, the parents?”

Mr. Gormley went on to state his continued anger at television’s ineffectual parenting.

“I had him watching Breaking Bad ‘cus it’s fucking class, but he wanted to go out and kick a ball around. You can’t be telling me that’s right,” added Mr. Gormley.

Early 90s cartoons were said to more captivating for children, but now with the advent of the internet toddlers as young as 12 months are refusing to ‘clap along’ with the current TV programmes.

“I’m not having it, it’s a disgrace,” shared another mother, Shona Hughes, “is this what I pay my licence few for? So I then have to spend more time with my kids. I don’t bloody well think so”.

It is believed a movement towards more traditional forms of parenting like engaging with your children are set to wreck one-in-every-five sets of parents’ heads.