JobBridge Intern Doesn’t Know He’s Working Christmas Day Yet

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JOBBRIDGE intern Kevin Murray has little to no knowledge of the fact he will be required to work Christmas Day this year.

It is expected Kevin will gain invaluable experience during his 6am-10pm shift as he is entrusted with manning the WWN offices all by himself.

He will be required to use many journalistic skills such as resourcefulness, dedication and lying among other skills.

With the heating switched off for several days around Christmas, Kevin will be expected to find a way to keep warm as he cleans up the office in the aftermath of the Christmas Eve office drinks he wasn’t invited to.

However, this will be made all the tougher as the one suit he purchased from Penneys at the start of his internship slowly disintegrates, leaving a gentle but icy breeze penetrating his backside.

Kevin’s dedication to his career will be evident as he continues his work despite receiving no time off in the month of December. He will be reminded via email that this is simply what it takes to get a job in Ireland and that he should consider himself very-fucking-lucky.

It is hoped Kevin will use this new found trust his employers have in him when the Gardaí call to the premises after the alarm malfunctions. Kevin will be required to utilise the lying skills he has observed for so long when he confirms that there are no drugs on the premises despite the fact he still hasn’t cleaned up the remnants of cocaine use in the toilets.

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