Annoying Co-Worker To Spend Day Insisting You Feel How Cold Her Hands Are

WITH temperatures across the country beginning to drop and frosty mornings becoming the norm, workers at a Dublin accountancy firm are bracing themselves for their annoying co-worker to insist they feel how cold her hands are.

Pamela McGuigan, a 29-year-old receptionist with Leeson & Associates will spend not only today, but every day from now until May complaining about how cold it is, and will demonstrate the drop in temperature to her co-workers by holding out her hands and demanding that they be felt.

Anyone who claims to be aware of the current weather conditions and subsequently refuses to feel Pamela’s hands will find themselves getting her icy fingers pressed against the back of their neck, usually when they least expect it.

“It. Is. Freezing this morning”, McGuigan will say, approximately once every five minutes as she sits at her desk in a climate controlled office.

“I was waiting for the bus and my hands were like ice! Here, feel them; feel how cold my hands are. That’ll tell you how cold it is this morning, as I’m assuming that you somehow managed to get from your house to here without noticing anything about the weather. Feel my hands. Feel them!”

Co-workers of Ms. McGuigan, who are all too familiar with her insistence that her fingers are the only true method of gauging inclement weather, will be forced to humour her and assure her that yes, her hands are indeed quite cold.

Content that she has done a service to her co-workers, McGuigan will then sit at her desk shivering like a Russian orphan, complaining that she “can’t even fucking type” because her fingers are too cold, although this disability does not seem to extend to pricking around on her phone all day.