True Meaning Of Christmas To Cost Parents An Average Of €1,500
THE true meaning of Christmas is set to cost Irish parents an average of €1,500 this year, WWN can exclusively reveal.
Many panicked parents are rushing around shops trying to purchase all the necessary items to make it a thoroughly special time for all the family, especially the children.
This is despite the true meaning of Christmas being available for purchase online for the affordable price of €1,500.
Far too many parents become anxious over the thoughts that the huge Turkey, bright lights, large tree and expensive presents for their children represent a failure on their part to capture the true meaning of Christmas.
“I have to say I was really pissed off last year,” explained, anxious parent Tim Doyle, “my youngest, Sarah was complaining that her friend Jessica got a present on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Stephen’s Day while in New York on a holiday and I thought ‘fuck me, what is Christmas even about anymore?'”
Stressed out parents like Tim, who struggle with society’s expectation that they should spend insane amounts of money on lavish gifts that will be ignored in several weeks time, now finally have a reprieve.
Meaningofchristmas.ie is now selling its ‘true meaning’ item for as little as €1,500 allowing families to purchase it, removing all headaches and the fear that they are not providing a wonderful experience for their children.
“I was lost before I heard about it,” explained mother of four Julie Hanley, “you just buy it there online for €1,500 and they deliver it the next day. As a family I think we’re much more relaxed now we have the true meaning. Those fuckers across the way with their Christmas light show can get stuffed”.
The true meaning arrives in the form of a sticker which can be displayed on the front door of a house, thus dispelling any misconception that some parents don’t love their children enough or understand the value behind Christmas time.
Neighbours with lavish light displays can therefore no longer make others feel terrible about not having large enough budgets to shower children with in an effort to properly acknowledge the birth of Jesus Christ.
“I feel a lot people go overboard at Christmas and lose perspective a bit,” admitted concerned parent Avril Delaney, “that’s why we purchased two true meanings of Christmas way back in August, I know €3,000 is a bit much but we just like to get everything sorted well in advance of everyone else”.