Gates Of Hell To Be Re-Opened In April 2015, Warns Palace


BUCKINGHAM Palace has warned today that the gates of hell will reopen again in April next year for a brief moment while the next instalment of the Royal family passes through.

“The gates may stay open for three to twelve hours, depending on how fast the entity takes to arrive to our realm.” a Royal spokesperson told the awaiting press today. “As a precaution, British citizens should remain indoors during the process.”

This will be the second time in two years the portal has been opened, with Prince George’s passing lasting just under four hours and costing the state two hundred million pounds in gate keeper fees.

“Hopefully we can contain the gate again, this time without any other unwanted entities sneaking through.” said gate keeper Dr. Terence Parkinson of St Mary’s Hospital, London. “Once the child enters our dimension, we will have to close the gates immediately by reciting prayers and chants from an 11th century book of black magic.”

The gates of hell, which can only be summoned during a Royal pregnancy, are currently situated in the womb of the Duchess of Cambridge, and has been sealed since the birth of Prince George last year.

“Kate will have to undergo some surgery and wear a special type of belt and lock for some time. This is standard procedure.” added the gate keeper.

On the 21st April 1926, thousands of people lost their lives after the gateway was left open for too long after the birth of Queen Elizabeth II, causing numerous wars and a stock market crash in the first twenty years of her life.