100% Of Irish People To Have The Big Coat Out By Next Week, Predict Experts


DESPITE the insistence of large portions of the population that it was still “fierce mild for this time of year”, experts are predicting that 100% of Irish people will have the big coat out by the end of next week.

In order to avoid getting caught out by an unexpected cold morning, most will use any free time they have over the coming weekend to dig out the big coat from the wardrobe, or the top of the hot press. Many are expected to enjoy an unexpected financial gain during this time, as the pockets of some Big Coats may contain a long-lost fiver.

With Met Éireann forecasting harsh winds and low temperatures from Tuesday onwards, clothing analysts have stated that this will be the last weekend that handouts can argue that it’s still warm enough for a hoodie or a summer jacket.

“Although October has been unseasonably warm so far, I think everyone can agree we’re into Big Coat weather now” said Dr. Mark McGrane, designer of the Big Coat Warning System housed at Met Éireann headquarters.

“You can’t be going out anymore in a wee slip of a thing. Now’s the time to get the Big Coat out, or if you haven’t a big coat, maybe it’s time to get a Big Coat”.

As hundreds of thousands prepare to take out their Big Coat, many are contemplating getting the big duvet out at the same time. The electric blanket application is expected to take several more weeks, as it can involve additional personnel to hold up the mattress while the strings are tied properly at the bottom, to cut down on it bunching up during the night.