Mom On School Run To Park Wherever The Fuck She Likes

A COUNTY Waterford mother declared today that she can park wherever the fuck she likes when collecting her son from school.

Geraldine Mackey, from Hillview in the city, made the decision quite some time ago when her “precious little boy” Fiachra complained of being tired after walking some distance to school one morning.

“I think it was last year sometime when I was in a rush and had to drop him a good hundred yards from the school gate,” recalled the full-time female. “The poor pet said his legs were aching all day in school, so I said to myself I would never again let him walk so far unaided.”

Mrs. Mackey now insists on double parking as close to the school as humanly possible when collecting his highness from his long day of studying.

“He’s only twelve years of age. I am not letting him walk on the street by himself. Especially with all those perverts running around the place with their mickies out these days,” she added, before setting off again on the half mile journey home.

Local Traffic warden Jim Henderson told WWN that he learned his lesson the hard way after giving one woman a ticket for parking on a double yellow line in 2017.

“It was one of my first day’s on the job and I got lynched,” explained the road space enforcer. “About ten women attacked me and I spent a week in hospital. Since then I just avoid the schools until they’re all gone.”

In Ireland, rules on parking illegally are apparently “written off” during school drop off and pick up times. The practice also applies for worshippers of the Christian faith going to mass – who may also leave their cars wherever the fuck they please.