People Queuing For The iPhone 6 Humanely Put Down



A GOOD news story from the world of technology as individuals around the world queuing for the iPhone 6 have been humanely put down.

The iPhone 6, a series of buttons, and things you can click on, has continued the trend whereby presumably deranged people who have no grasp on reality queue for days in the hope of helping to find a cure for aids or buy a phone for something.

Several people queuing in London were shot on sight after they beat up a homeless man for blocking the entrance to an Apple store when they arrived to queue at 4am last night.

One person put down by Australian police this morning was Wicklow native Richard Grogan whose parents spoke exclusively to WWN.

“We’d be on the Skype to him now and again, but recently he would go on these long unending rants about how human evolution had reached its pinnacle now someone in America made a new phone and a watch,” said Richard’s mother Noreen.

“He literally spent 2 hours telling us how he’d queue up outside a shop like a right fucking eejit,” David, Richard’s father added, “I reminded him of that cool Casio watch I got him for Christmas when he was 6 but sure he had gone off on one again, making no sense, it was quite upsetting.”

The iPhone 6 pricing varies from country to country, but that hasn’t stopped people who purchase the phone overpaying for it.

“We’ve had instances of people refusing to pay our set prices, instead they insist on paying upwards of $10,000 while crying and screaming ‘thank you’,” explained one phone shop employee.

Some 20,000 people have been put down as they queued for the phone, but relevant authorities have assured other members of the public that they suffered tremendously.