Kilkenny Man Screams ‘Liam McCarthy’ During Sex With Girlfriend

AS the most important match of the hurling calendar fast approaches Kilkenny and Tipperary fans are reaching unsafe levels of excitement, WWN has learned.

Kilkenny man Martin Bailey has been become so consumed by his excitement that while in the throes of passion with his girlfriend Anna Slaney he blurted out ‘Liam McCarthy’ as he climaxed.

“When I see it from her perspective, yes, I’d be angry too,” explained Martin, who was now relegated to a tent out in the back garden of the couple’s home.

Martin added that he had tried to explain that his screams of passion for the illustrious hurling trophy were nothing to worry about.

“She’s from Kerry where they don’t believe in hurling so I think my explanation fell on deaf ears,” offered Martin, “I told her I was just so excited about the final that, well, when I was grabbing her boobs they basically turned into the handles on the Liam McCarthy, the lads back home understood what I was going through but not the missus”.

The GAA has issued guidelines for both sets of fans explaining what they should do if they get too excited.

“Supporters need to find a nice small space like a cupboard and just lock themselves in there for a good ten minutes and then they should be nicely calmed down, which will bring an end to the sort of horseplay we’ve heard about,” Paddy Drummond, GAA spokesman told WWN.

These latest guidelines have been issued in light of several serious incidents involving supporters. The most serious of which involved a Tipperary man, withholding sex from his wife, a Kilkenny native.

The county board wrote to the man insisting he need not go to such lengths in the run up to the game, but Tony O’Dowd has insisted it is a matter of principle. He will be awarded the freedom of Tipperary for his sacrifice in a lavish ceremony next week.

Another less disturbing episode saw a Kilkenny women drain 25% of her blood from her body upon learning she was one quarter Tipperary.