Top 5 Culchie Protests Happening Right Now

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WITH so many rural communities in Ireland in uproar at any given time, it can sometimes be hard to keep track of just what those crazy culchies are giving out about. You turn on the news and see a motorcade of tractors causing traffic chaos and wonder, what are they vexed at today?!

We teamed up with one of the countries foremost culchies, Michael “Mossy” Malone to compile this list of the 5 issues currently irking country communities in Ireland today, along with suggestions as to how the issues can be resolved. Take it away, Mossy!

1) Pylons

“There’s hoors out there want to put our pylons on our land, and let me tell you now it’s not happening. Sure didn’t there go around a thing in the paper saying that pylons are the cause of cancer, heh? Are they on tablets or what?”

Suggested Resolution;

“They can go fuck themselves”

Electricity-pylons-001

2) Wind Farms

“There’s hoors out there want to put up wind farms all over the place, and let me tell you now it’s not happening. Sure didn’t there go around a thing in the paper saying that wind farms cause brain tumours? Are they right in the head at all?”

Suggested Resolution;

“They can go fuck themselves”

wind-farm_1882864b

3) Vaccinations

“There’s hoors out there want to vaccinate childurn, and let me tell you now it’s not happening. Sure didn’t there go around a thing in the paper saying that vaccinations cause autism? Have they lost the run of themselves?”

Suggested Resolution;

“They can go fuck themselves”

vaccination

4) Stem Cell Research

“There’s hoors out there want to use stem cells harvested from embryos, and let me tell you now it’s not happening. Sure didn’t there go around a thing in the paper saying that stem cells were a miracle of medical science that could be used to further the good of humanity? They have their shite!”

Suggested Resolution;

“They can go fuck themselves”

review-due-australian-stem-cell-research-legislation_212011

5) Planning Permission

“”There’s a hoor up the road from me who put in for planning permission, and let me tell you now it’s not happening. He put the details of it in the paper, but I didn’t bother reading it, it’s just not happening and that’s that”.

Suggested Resolution;

“He can go fuck himself”.

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