Operators Admit They Hadn’t Fed LUAS In Days



LUAS operators have admitted that they may have failed to feed one of their Red Line trams which resulted in a rabid attack on a schoolgirl who thankfully suffered only minor injuries.

The incident, which saw members of the public band together in a heartwarming display to free the trapped girl, is just one of countless close calls with once wild LUAS trams that are now tasked with transporting Dubliners around on their daily commute.

An investigation into recent incidents has been launched with LUAS operators admitting that they have neglected to feed a number of trams in the recent weeks.

“They survive on a diet of old minis and Dublin bike scheme bikes, they can’t enough of them actually and to be honest,we can barely afford to feed them at the moment,” a spokesman shared with WWN.

“What a lot of commuters tend to forget is that we have to travel to sub-Saharan Africa to chase down and capture wild LUAS, training them to carry humans and that it is advisable that commuters stay vigilant as they are wild animals at the end of the day,” added the spokesman.

The wild LUAS usually excels in a hotter climate than the one found here in Ireland but many have nevertheless made Dublin their home with the help of Transdev, the LUAS operators.

LUAS operators have admitted they will have to beef up their recent ‘never take your eyes off a LUAS’ awareness campaign.

“We hope these incidents become a thing of the past with better, more intense training of LUAS in the future, we don’t stand clear of the platform just for the craic you know,” concluded the spokesperson.

Yesterday’s incident happened just one week after PETA activists boarded the Green Line in an attempt to free a LUAS but despite freeing the animal he ultimately found his way back to the depot in Sandyford, seemingly happy to return.