World Leaders Not Too Sure How Many Dead Palestinian Children Is ‘Too Many’
An intense debate has been sparked in the international community as to what exactly quantifies ‘too many’ dead Palestinian children.
The discussion has come about following the death of 4 Palestinian children, killed by an Israeli strike, as they played football.
Leaders from some of the World’s most powerful countries are said to be at a loss as to what exact figure of dead Palestinian children constitutes ‘too many’.
“From all available data, we believe one Palestinian life is probably at about .000034% of the value of a normal life, it’s a complex mathematical question really, you wouldn’t understand,” revealed a spokesman for the British Prime Minister David Cameron.
Some politicians have criticised first hand accounts given by journalists of the tragic deaths of 4 members of the Bakr family, going as far as to state ‘hey stop reporting that stuff, you’re making us look bad’.
Absent from these discussions were the United States, who were busy imposing further sanctions on Russia as it continues to encroach on territory belonging to Ukraine. Israel, whose military receives close to $3 billion from the United States every year, have denied accusations of war crimes simply stating ‘bombing everything is a legitimate military tactic’.
Many countries have gone as far as to absolve themselves from the debate entirely, citing the fact they are simply terrible at counting so probably shouldn’t get involved.
A spokesperson for the White House responded to claims that the international community have been sluggish in their condemning of Israel’s brutal attacks on the people of Gaza.
“It’s not helpful to use the phrase ‘people of Gaza’, you’re implying we view them on equal footing with other humans, before long you’ll have people saying we should do something,” began the spokesman.
“Look, we’re busy sanctioning Russia, who quite frankly are encroaching on sovereign territory and are ignoring the UN and every other international body in favour of imposing illegal measures over Crimea and beyond, we simply don’t have time to get into a big conversation about Israel. Actually, it’s quite similar to Russia in a way except without the sanctions part,” the spokesman said.
A conference is to be convened in 40 years time to decide on the figure of dead children deemed unacceptable by the international community.