20% Of Irish People Not Nearly Racist Enough, Finds Study



A GOVERNMENT commissioned survey has found that as many as 20% of Irish people are not nearly racist enough. The survey was commissed off the back of a recent incident at a ceremony for new citizen in the national convention centre which saw racist graffiti appear nearby offending all those invloved.

“Once upon a time people had the guts to be directly racist to people who have done nothing but try to carve out a life and contribute to society in a positive way. That trend has changed for the worse, leaving us bereft on many true racists,” explained head of research at the Irish Institute of Irish Studies (IIIS) Joseph Cullivan.

“Sure, they’re casually racist, but what use is that,” asked Cullivan, “in hard economic times such as these we find an individual really benefits from being able to arbitrarily blame a minority for all of their problems,” he added.

The remaining 80% of Irish people who are quite clearly racist have reacted angrily to suggestions that study actually highlights the fact that many in Irish society could do with being less racist.
“Eh, sorry think you’ve got that one wrong there my Nigeria loving friend,” Wexford resident and self-confessed racist Ciaran Redmond shared.

“Where would ya be without a handy cure-all ignorant-laden outburst? Even if it isn’t the Pakistanis fault that I’ve got one leg shorter than the other doesn’t mean I can’t blame them for it, on a daily basis, using racist language,” Ciaran explained.

The government has neither ruled in nor ruled out the prospect of sending non-racist individuals on courses which help explain the benefits of a bit of racism. It is thought any such course will probably be taught by taxi drivers directly from their taxis, combining a safe journey with an introduction to racism studies.