Ireland Sets Up ‘Ginger Reproduction Centre’ As Numbers Dwindle



The Government has taken swift action following news that the ‘ginger gene’ could die out due to global warming.

The Taoiseach was on hand to open a ‘Ginger Centre For Ginger Excellence’ in Athlone which is believed to be the first centre of its kind.

At the centre, Ireland’s leading biologists will work around the clock in order to help preserve the ginger gene, which has proved so vital to the tourism industry and playground bullying in Ireland.

Opening the centre the Taoiseach was full of passion for the red head cause.

“I cannot be any clearer when I say that this is purely about getting more yanks over to spend money. Less gingers, means less dollars and we can’t have that,” the Taoiseach said to warm applause.

WWN was given an exclusive tour of the facility and gained a unique insight into how scientists plan on reversing this worrying decline in ginger numbers.

“Basically, we stick them in a room and have them ride one another, it’s very simple actually now when I think about it, but it took years to formulate,” explained head scientist at the Ginger Centre For Ginger Excellence Rory Dunlop.

Dunlop admits other avenues such as cloning have been explored, but the scientist claimed he’s not here to play God, instead he is here to get red-haired people to have sex a lot in the hope of producing red-haired offspring.

“We have the non-gingers come in the odd time just to mix it up, but we’ll be waiting a good 9 months before we have the results, ya know,” Dunlop added.

The process has not been without its setbacks as Dunlop explained to WWN.

“Well, when we first sent out the call for willing red heads, we got a great response with over 500 men turning up, but it got a bit awkward with them in the ‘love pods’ without any women”.

The centre has also had some problems with ‘ginger fetishists’ which has resulted in the erection of a 20ft high fence.

WWN pressed Dunlop on why the centre had the word ‘ginger’ appear in its title twice.

“We get double the funding, part of some minority funding loophole, we wanted to call it ‘Ginger Ginger Ginger Ginger’ but we thought we’d be rumbled”.