‘Mickey’ Most Popular Nickname Used For Irish Penises, Reveals Study


A NEW study shines a light on the nomenclature Irish men use when describing their appendage.

While men have often candidly discussed the names they give their penis this is the first nationwide study of its kind.

“Day to day men might mention in passing that ‘An Fear Mór’ is awful itchy, sweaty and what have you, but there has been a complete lack of archival work being done by the government. If we don’t document it we’re losing an important element of our culture, let’s not sugarcoat this,” Eileen McGrath, head of the study explained.

Gathering such sensitive material isn’t as straightforward as one might imagine.

“Well, we just approached men and asked ‘so what do you call your penis when it’s at home?’ Some of our researchers were assaulted but that’s all part of the day job,” McGrath explained.

After several months of extensive and intensive research ‘Mickey’ was revealed to be the most popular nickname for the penis amongst Irish males.

“Mickey was the overwhelming favourite, but as we move toward a more cosmopolitan culture in the cities, men are trying to assert their individuality. Maybe their fathers told them to call it Mickey and they rebel, as one would, by choosing a different name.”

“It was only after moving up to Dublin for college I felt I could, you know, have a naming ceremony and that. So ‘Mickey’ became ‘Biggus Dickus’ on September 12th, 2002, a great day,” shared study subject Conor Mullen.

The Big Easy, Sausage, Baby Maker, Pump Action Pleasure Rifle, The Disappointer, Willy, Third Leg and The Triumphant Wonder Wand were all popular names but it seems more traditional Irish penis names are dying out.

“We’ve seen a lot men saying they steered away from names like ‘Cúlchulainn’ which is a shame really,” added McGrath.

The full study is available online at irishpenisnames.com