It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)



WWN brings you the latest from the World Cup:

Worrying scenes developed in the second half of Brazil’s 0-0 draw with Mexico when Phil Scolari realised his striker, Fred, was suffering from a rare case of ‘locked-in’ syndrome. The condition which left Fred paralysed and unable to move was initially mistaken for a combination of laziness and ineptitude.

Following Eamon Dunphy’s shocking curse-laden outburst LIVE on RTÉ television last night the broadcaster is continuing to try and make amends. Members of the public will be able to attend the Donnybrook studios from 2pm-6pm for the next week where Dunphy is being kept in chains by reception. The public are encouraged to hurl abuse at him, throw rotten fruit and vegetables (provided by the broadcaster) and also sign a ‘book of offence’.

Brazil’s star player Neymar was seen to cry during the national anthems. First thought to be a sign of passion and emotion it has since been revealed that Neymar can see directly into the future and was so distraught by his team’s performance he began to openly weep.

Wayne Rooney has shown how committed he is to England’s World Cup cause by getting distracted by media speculation about his performances. The striker put in an extra hour’s work on the social media training pitch trying to prove doubters wrong.

WWN cannot confirm reports linking Sepp Blatter with the ISIS insurgency in Iraq.

Women enthusiasts praised last night’s coverage of the Brazil v Mexico game as TV coverage was devoted entirely to attractive women in attendance, some viewers, however complained that there was still far too much football needlessly shown.

1.2 Million novelty wigs have been sold in Belgium since Marouane Fellaini’s equalising goal against Algeria.

South Korea players’ names continue to provide Irish football fans with hours of amusement, Lee Bum-Young proving a particular favourite.

Today’s 8pm kick off sees Spain play Chile in a crucial match for both sides. Doubts remain over the Spanish squad following their heavy loss to the Dutch and reports from the training ground suggest much of the squad only stopped rocking back and forth in a trance like state early yesterday.