Dublin Lad Diagnosed With First Case Of Culchiephobia



News has reached WWN that Dublin lad, Daniel Griffin, has been declared the world’s first sufferer of a phobia now known as ‘culchiephobia’.

‘Culchiephobia’ is described by experts as a ‘distinct fear or distrust of people born outside of Dublin’, with the sufferer going to great lengths to avoid encountering Culchies.

“I suppose when I first started going to college, I knew I just couldn’t cope,” explained Dubliner Daniel, “I had to rush out of a lecture because I was sitting beside some yoke from a place called ‘Carlow’, is it?”

Experts in the field of clinical psychology were stumped by Daniel’s aversion to all things not-Dublin and began carrying out research assessing the Foxrock resident.

“Over time I put on a Dublin accent and asked questions in an attempt to fool him, but he sniffed out my brogue and retreated into the foetal position under a desk,” shared the visibly frustrated Dr. Seanie O’Hallygallygin.

When questioned the Dubliner rather bizarrely listed Longcommon and Galrick as his least favourite counties while placing Sligo somewhere in the middle of Greenland before asking ‘was Joe Dolan the high king of Culchies?’

“With all phobias, one embraces avoiding what we fear and this creates a pronounced ignorance in Daniel’s case,” added Dr. O’Hallygallygin.

Daniel underwent treatment to overcome his phobia, but little changed. “If I was to hear the words ‘boss’ and ‘howiya’ in the same sentence that’s it, goodnight, I vomit everywhere,” Daniel shared before vomiting.

“I know it sounds stupid but I find it hard to leave the house, I genuinely think one of them will attack me and force me into a pair of wellies or worse bundle me on a train to Cork,” a visibly upset Daniel remarked.