Large Increase In The Number Of Pricks Driving Around With Their Stupid Faces On Cars



CENTRAL statistic figures released today show an alarming increase in the number of smiley looking pricks driving around with their stupid faces on cars.

It is believed the jump in numbers are directly related to an ongoing European election campaign which has been going on across the country, and is expected to last well into the latter part of next month.

The pricks are also armed with large quantities of leaflets containing pictures of their stupid looking faces. Many of which opted for the words ‘vote’ and ‘number one’ in the script.

“Every day now there’s a different smiley looking prick looking up from my hall floor.” said shop assistant James Kelly. “I have a sign saying ‘no junk mail’ on my door and yet they still insist on posting them.”

Politicians desperate for a piece of the European pie insist the leaflets are not actually junk, but a vital piece of information which will directly affect the outcome of the homeowner’s future.

“Well, it’s got my face on it with some writing after it,” explains candidate Cllr Thomas Ryan from Cork. “And we all know, there is nothing better than a leaflet with a picture of a politician to convince a constituent to vote. All I have to do now is sit back and watch those votes roll in.”

The European elections are due to take place on the 22nd of May 2014.