Chaos As Indoor Soccer Match ‘Not Taken Seriously Enough’ By Players

LAST night’s crucial Indoor Soccer 5-a-side friendly between Gary McKenna and nine lads he works with, broke down midway through the second half after members of both teams walked off in disgust claiming they were the only ones taking the match serious enough.

This is the third such incident in the stormy history of the two clubs, following McKenna’s refusal to play on the same field as Gorman’s midfielder who he claimed was “a cross-eyed prick”, and Gorman’s own infamous walk-off in January after receiving a crunching tackle from one of McKenna’s Polish forklift driver team-mates which he stated was “totally uncalled for”.

Yesterday’s incident began with dissent from McKenna, whose team were leading 17-3 at halftime, claiming that Gorman’s stand-in goalkeeper was “a useless fat cunt” who had more interest in messing with his phone than keeping nets.

McKenna demanded that the scores be re-set and a new goalkeeper appointed to try and “make a bit of a challenge out of it”. This is reported to have irked Gorman, who made the incendiary statement that the match was “only a bit of craic”.

An impromptu transfer market began, with members being swapped between teams to even things out.

The match then recommenced with McKenna’s team now consisting of the best of his co-workers and two of Gorman’s cousins, including the one who had a trial for West Ham three years ago before he did his cruciate falling down the stairs in a local nightclub.

The second half consisted of McKenna’s now vastly overpowered team laying waste to Gorman’s goal, until the fat lad got smashed in the face by a ball that was kicked both too hard and too high.

Declaring that kind of play to be “not on”, Gorman demanded a further exchange of players, but was told that the transfer window had closed. Play resumed for a few minutes until members of both sides declared their frustrations and went home. The remaining players held a quick penalty shoot-out until the hour was up.

The teams are scheduled to play again next weeks, although the fixture has been moved to Thursday to accommodate several players who are going to a wedding..