Sharing Heartwarming Videos To Become Mandatory By 2015
NEW legislation being drafted will make it mandatory for social network users to post every heartwarming video you see from 2015 onwards.
Governments worldwide are joining forces to ensure that the new policy is enforced to the letter of the law, after learning that hundreds of heartwarming moments shared between family members and/or their pets, go unrecorded every year.
“We’ve got three-legged dogs catching Frisbees on the beach every weekend that nobody ever gets to see” explained Richard Hole, chief of operations at the American Heartwarming Video Institution.
“Each Christmas, kids are unwrapping their presents with nobody is videoing them. These are all heartwarming events the online community are missing out on. With the new legislation in place, it will be a felony to be in the presence of a heartwarming event and not record it with the intention of posting it online”.
The new law comes after a year-long heartwarming video drought, which saw videos of baby lambs playing in the rain and recordings of military servicemen returning from active service being greeted by their dogs fall to unsustainable levels. It is believed that the internet needs uploads of at least 100 hours of heartwarming footage every day to avoid sinking into a mire of hardcore pornography and videos of knife-based executions in the Middle East.
“The internet is a fragile eco-system which needs help to maintain a delicate balance” explained venerable internet expert Herbert Gonzales, aka YouTube poster HerbYbigcoxxxx13.
“Without the brightness; darkness takes over. For every snuff video uploaded, a video of someone who emigrated to Australia returning home unannounced to surprise his Mam on her birthday is needed. For every hardcore interracial gangbang available online, there must also be a video of a puppy that can’t climb stairs but eventually makes it. Otherwise, the internet descends into chaos; you would go online to book train tickets and be overwhelmed by a torrent of unbelievable filth”.
The Heartwarming Video Enforcement Act comes into place on January 1st, 2015. Anyone who witnesses a heartwarming moment without recording and sharing it online will face up to four years in prison.