Irish Pigs Sick Of Foreign Pigs Coming Over Here And Stealing Their Jobs

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THE IRISH Pigs Association (IPA) have today appealed to Minister for Agriculture, Marine and Food Simon Coveney to take action in light of revelations that no good foreign pigs have taken the jobs of hard working Irish pigs.

DNA tests carried out on pork labelled as ‘Irish’ has revealed that only 48% are genuinely Irish. These results have led to strong criticism from Irish farmers and their pigs.

“You spend the days whispering to them, telling them to dream big,” said concerned farmer Matty Taylor, “put in the hard work and you could end up in the mouth of a famous person I says to them but sure the government has made me a liar.”

Mr. Taylor’s outrage is reflective of the Irish farming community’s feeling that jobs for Irish pigs have wrongly been given to foreign pigs who work for less and are traditionally known to be smelly, unkempt and heavily reliant on government handouts.

It is an all too familiar tale for the IPA who have lost complete faith in the government’s policing of the Irish food industry.

The unemployment rate amongst IPA members is at an all time high and there have been calls for an inquiry into how companies could deceive the government when it came to labeling their pigs as Irish.

A member of the IPA spoke to WWN about his ordeal on the condition of anonymity: “Oink, oink oink. Oink! Oink oink oink oink oink, oink oink! Oink oink oink,” relayed a tearful IPA member.

WWN can confirm the accusations contained in the IPA member’s interview to be true.

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