Ireland Immediately Writes Off Own Debt In First Day Of EU Presidency

IRISH leaders have boldly written off all debts owed by the country to the European Union after taking the office of presidency yesterday.

Taoiseach Enda Kenny and Labour leader Eamon Gilmore announced their decision to ‘wipe the slate clean’ during a brief press conference in Brussels.

“We have looked at the books and have decided to start afresh for 2013.” said Mr. Kenny. “We felt it only right to act in our nations best interests while in power and write off all eighty five billion euros we owe the EU.”

Meanwhile, thousands of Irish citizens took to the streets to celebrate the news and welcomed the end of harsh austerity measures implemented by the government over the past three years.

“Its the best thing the have ever done.” said one man. “It will be interesting to see what else they’ll do over the next six months.”

German Chancellor Angela Merkel slammed the new EU presidents decision today and called for an emergency meeting of all member state leaders .

However, the request was later denied by Mr. Kenny before warning Ms Merkel that she was skating on ‘very thin ice’ and that any further retaliation against the new EU presidents decision would be taken as ‘treason’ and will be dealt with accordingly.

Back home, Finance Minister Michael Noonan said a new 2013 budget will be drafted up in accordance with yesterdays write off.

He expects Ireland to be back to normal by Easter.

A didliy idilly diddily dum.