Budget Cancelled Due To Budget Cuts



THE MINISTER for Finance Michael Noonan announced today that the government will not be holding a budget on the 5th December due to budget cuts in the Finance departments budget — proving that not even they can escape cutbacks.

The unorthodox decision was passed by Fine Gael in an emergency meeting held in Dail Eireann this morning.

The cancellation of budget 2013 means there will be no cuts in jobs or public finances such as the social welfare or child benefit.

Mr. Noonan said because of ongoing pressure from voters, and the sheer cost and effort of the budget project, it was decided by government to prove that cuts were not just for the poorer levels of society.

“We wanted to show the people that it wasn’t just them who would feel the pinch this year. Government department cuts should be across the board, no matter what department it is, including Finance.”

Fianna Fail leader Michael Martin said that while he recognised the state of the nation’s finances, he believed there was something very wrong about cancelling the budget.

“I just don’t get it. What are they trying to prove here? Incompetence?”

“Fine Gael are only looking for brownie points from the people. They haven’t thought this through properly.” he added.

According to superstar celebrity economist David McWilliams, the cancellation of the countries budget will have detrimental effects on the economy.

“I thought I heard it all from this government. We’re fucked lads. They have really outdone themselves this time.

I give the Irish economy another two months before it crashes and burns into a pit of economic doom.”