Popes Butler To Be Publicly Burned At The Stake In Saint Peter’s Square


THE VATICAN announced yesterday that the popes ex-butler, Paolo Gabriele, is to be burned at the stake in a live televised event in Saint Peters square next Thursday lunch-time.

Mr.  Gabriele  was convicted of stealing the pontiff’s private documents and leaking them to a journalist, and was sentenced to death late last night in a special sitting of the Vatican court.

Judge Giuseppe Dalla Torre read the verdict aloud, after a jury of twelve elderly cardinals began deliberating Paolo Gabriele’s fate. He defended the retro-style sentencing stating, it was time to go back to the grass roots of punishment.

“We need to send a message out there to the people that the Vatican is, and always will be, opposed to in-house corruption.”

Revenue from the event is estimated to reach into the millions for the Papal state, with massive sponsorship deals already being signed by major cable broadcasters from around the world.

British Sky Broadcasting CEO Jeremy Darroch told WWN that expected viewing figures will smash previous ratings set by 911 and that car crash your one died in with the arab guy that time.

“This is the first time a public execution will be aired live on television and BSkyB are delighted top be one of the few TV news networks to be hosting this historic event.” he said.

The last traitor to executed by the Holy See was one Agatino Bellomo on July 9th, 1870.

Mr Bellomo was accused of sexually abusing himself with his right hand by the Papal state and sentenced to death by stoning.