Deise Drug Dealers In Plea For Help As Rural Irish Market ‘Bottoms Out’


TWO WATERFORD drug dealers who were protesting outside Dail Eireann today have called on Brian Cowen to take emergency action to rescue rural Ireland’s illegal drug trade as it has been said to be in crisis amid a dramatic drop in users and an influx of very poor quality narcotics over the past 2 years.

“The arse has fallen out of the Irish market boy, which is having a significant impact on the incomes of desperate young criminals like myself.” said Decco Flynn, a 24 year old unemployed drug dealer from Larchville in Waterford city.

According to the latest CSO figures, the deline in users is linked to the poor quality hashish and cocaine which has been distributed around the smaller cities like Waterford and Kilkenny. Waterford has been particularly stark with numbers down 24% in August compared with last year.

“Not one meaningful action of substance has been taken by Brian Cowens Government to recover the situation, ” Mr. Flynn claimed.

“Those lazy pricks can no longer stand there scratching their balls. We need drugs decentralization or somethin’. We need fair trade. Dublin gets all the good stuff. We need imaginative solutions from our leaders.I rang the Dails main office today and they hung up on me. This just goes to show their reluctance to grasp the issue and adapt to new ways of thinking,” he added.

Decco stated that it was no longer acceptable for the Government to dismiss suggestions that could actually give Waterford and surrounding area’s a competitive advantage in attracting good quality drugs from our main market suppliers in Spain and south America.

“Myself and 2-stroke Kelly are calling on the Government to examine, in a ‘can do’ mind-frame, the introduction of a new drugs scheme. We propose that all imported drugs be fairly distributed across the board. A decisive government should insist that such a scheme be part of the condition under which it continues to provide the rest of the country with the same quality produce as Dublin has been getting for the past 10 years boy,” Mr. Flynn maintained.

“I can’t smoke any of that soap bar crap any more. That so called pollen is muck and the pills seem to be getting weaker and weaker every year. We need regulations! If i get one more wrap of crushed Panadol for 90 euro I will kill someone.” he added.

The National Agency for Drug Abuse (NADA) believes that Ireland is uniquely positioned to attract an increasing number of Eastern European users under the age of 22 – a largely untapped market of 80 million people across the EU.

“We just need to suck them in first with some chape produce. Then when they’re hooked we can raise the bar a little. Its common economics baby” stated NADA chairman Maurice ‘hooky’ Smith

NADA is calling on the Government to extend, as a matter of urgency, the current free drugs route on the west of Ireland for all shipments of contraband. It also suggested ‘docking’ the one and only patrol vessel it has, in order to boost imports and thus sales.