Nation Already Embarrassing Itself By Obsessing Over George Clooney Arrival

DESPITE the fact over 7 million people visited Ireland last year the Nation is beside itself with the news that an actor will holiday in Ireland sometime this year.

George Clooney, most famous for being born George Clooney, is rumoured to be headed to Ireland this summer, prompting several hundred thousand people to quietly lose their minds.

Bowing to public pressure President Michael D. Higgins has already begun waiting at the arrivals gate of Dublin airport in order to ensure he is not late for greeting the actor who is set to arrive in June sometime.

Such is the high regard the Oscar winning actor, director and producer is held in, the Government has taken the unusual step of inventing a wholly fictitious family of Irish relatives for him.

“We can confirm we have forced a family in Kilkenny to legally change their names to Clooney so when George arrives, he can have a really awkward conversation with them and have their picture in the papers with them,” A Government spokesman told WWN.

Much attention is also being paid to George Clooney’s wife, Amal Clooney, who will be heralded and much admired by the Irish press for her achievements and contribution to wearing nice dresses.

Here at home many members of the public struggled to comprehend the weight of the news.

“I was just a bit overwhelmed, like your man from those movies I half remember is coming here. I guess I panicked a bit and yeah, next thing I know I’m in the tattoo parlour,” said Dubliner Killian Macken who was sporting a tattoo of George Clooney across his face.

The Sunday Independent Life magazine will carry a commemorative 800-page magazine this week, which makes news of the news that George Clooney could possibly holiday in Ireland.

“Oh, it’s probably our finest issue, it will have a ‘where were you when you heard the news’ with Twink, Georgia Salpa and Gerald Kean as well as us reprinting some clever tweets. We’re very excited and proud. Yay Ireland,” confirmed Life contributor Barry Egan.

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