New Lotto Draw Gives Winner Chance Of Registering With A GP


THE IRISH national lottery has unveiled another new weekly draw with a lucrative prize that will make you the envy of everyone, WWN can report.

At a glitzy launch heralding the eye-watering lotto game, the new ‘Finding A GP’ grand prize will see one lucky winner getting through to a GP receptionist and successfully registering with a doctor and booking an appointment.

“We’re already seeing record levels of ticket sales,” said one lotto official of the tickets which retail at €4.

More precious than gold, the Finding A GP prize will be highly sought after by anyone moving to a new area only to find out there’s some octogenarian GP operating in a town of 2,000 people who has repeatedly delayed their retirement because there was no one to replace them.

Currently the odds of getting a GP at first time of inquiring is greater than winning the Euromillions on the same day Margot Robbie slides into your DMs.

“Fuck it, I’m cursing myself for playing the normal lotto,” said one recent millionaire, who despite her winnings has been repeatedly told by her GP’s receptionist, who has the telephone manner of a prison guard turned serial killer, that there’s no appointments available.

However, not everyone is happy with the news of the new draw.

“The small print says the winner is still only allowed a 15 minute consultation and if they bring up more than one ailment they will be fired into the sun,” shared one lotto player.