Mother’s Dying Wish Is To Attend ‘Pleasure Boys’ Tour

DESPITE a recent and devastating terminal diagnosis, 69-year-old Waterford mother Triona Hanley is not wasting time on tears, focusing instead on ticking a number of items off her bucket list.

“Mam, what do you mean terminal!?” Hanley’s son Martin asked as the mother-of-four explained that she doesn’t care if they’ve finished their Irish tour, her dying wish is for her family to get her a front row seat of a Pleasure Boys XXL show.

“Oh God Mam, c’mere, you poor thing,” added Hanley’s eldest daughter Deirdre, as her mother aggressively shunned her emotional advances in favour of grabbing her phone and sending the Pleasure Boys tours dates into the family WhatsApp.

Outlining how it mattered little to her the cost, Hanley said if her children loved her they would empty her grandchildren’s Credit Union accounts and book her flights, accommodation and tickets.

“I don’t care if you have to pay extra so I’m the one getting a mickey the size of the M50 slapped about my face, make it happen, I’m your mother and I’m dying… dying to tossed around by these oiled up Gods,” continued Hanley, keen to stress she’d prefer the buff lad who had an arse on him like two oranges in a hanky.

Hovering over the online ticket checkout on the website, Hanley’s children made sure to ask their mother if she really wanted the premium ‘get so dick dizzy and cock struck that you’ll scandalise your whole family and be talk of the town’ package.

“Get my whatever ticket that will result in the priest refusing to bury me in the family plot,” concluded Hanley.