Parents Fucked If They Know Answer To Son’s Maths Homework

LOCAL 12-year-old Simon Chilton has been informed by his parents that he can no longer rely on them for help with his maths homework.

“Jesus, I dunno Simon, who do I look like Stephen Hawking?” said the first year pupil’s mother, Catriona, as Simon appealed for help with some algebra.

Convening an emergency meeting in the kitchen Catriona and her husband David resolved to let Simon know he was on his own now when it comes to school work of any kind.

“Ah Simon lad, it’s ages since I did any of this shite, fake numbers, made up numbers, angles – angles, fucking triangles in maths? Absolute bullshit,” shared David, an accountant.

“Natural numbers? I’ll tell you what’s not natural, teaching kids this kinda shite they’ll never use, do you know the last time I did a fucking sum? 2005!” added Catriona, a lecturer in Data Science.

Holding back tears of frustration Simon explained how he just couldn’t get his head around geometry and that his teacher would give out to him if failed to get any answers right again.

“You think you have it bad Simon? Imagine being us poor sods, we already went to school and now you’re making us go back a second time,” David reasoned, “do you don’t hear us asking you to go into work for us, do you? Honestly, the cheek”.