Man Tells Girlfriend Online Ads Aren’t User Specific After Being Served 50th Ad For Sex Doll

“NO BABE, they stopped all that targeted ad stuff years ago I think, there was like an EU law or something,” confirmed local man Rory Ward, scrambling frantically for a coherent and plausible reason for why the apps and web pages on his phone are being served ads for sex dolls and fleshlights.

Immensely regretting handing over his phone to show his girlfriend Jess Cormack a funny video, Ward now rushed to sound like the foremost expert of online ad software and associated technology and regulations.

“No totally babe, an ad for a fleshlight in the shape of Dua Lipa’s face does sound like a bit of me and very, very specific and targeted but honestly open your phone you’re probably getting the same ads,” reasoned Ward of Jess’s phone which is wall to wall ads for her favourite make up brand.

“Anyway what is a fleshlight? That’s like a torch or something, right?” Ward followed up, now talking far too much.

Ward then denied the colour had drained from his face as Cormack uttered the words ‘hmmm, interesting’.

“You know what it is, that lad the floor below us, remember we called him Captain Creepy, his Wifi went down and I gave him our password there the other day so he was probably looking up a website like madetoordersexdoll.com/popularcelebs/orderbasket/checkout and now we’re getting the ads, yeah I know they’re just on my phone, I’ll get onto the broadband company about that, mad isn’t it?” concluded Ward who felt like he had been talking for 14 hours straight while caught in the tracker beam of hell that was Cormack’s unbroken eye contact.