‘Legitimate Target’: Gazan Newborn On Incubator Joined Hamas, Confirms IDF

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IN AN ATTEMPT to prevent people embarrassing themselves by suggesting newborn babies in Gaza are deserving of their empathy the Israeli Defence Forces has clarified a few important details.

“The babies joined Hamas immediately after leaving their mothers’ wombs, they are therefore a legitimate target if and when we strike them in a hospital which is in an area we demanded Palestinians flee to ensure they were safe from bombs we will be dropping there anyway,” confirmed an IDF spokesperson.

“Now you have the whole truth, glad to have saved you from embarrassing yourselves by advocating for a ceasefire like these were innocent human beings or something,” added the IDF.

In addition, sources within the Israeli government can confirm they will continue preventing essential aid such as food and water from being delivered into Gaza by aid agencies in quantities needed because Hamas has in the past made improvised rocket launchers from bread.

Meanwhile, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu has again thanked Western leaders for blindly supporting his every action which is especially meaningful now as even Israel’s longest running daily newspaper Haaretz is leading with opinion pieces titled ‘Shit dude, this is felling a bit genocidy to us. Maybe you should resign’.

Elsewhere, a puzzled Israeli Air Force told US President Joe Biden that if he needs help catching the Maine mass shooter why doesn’t he just simply level the entire state with air strikes.

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