A First: Irish Times Leads With Straight Fs Leaving Cert Student For Front Page Photo

WITH THE Irish Times featuring a student on their front page who was in receipt of 8 fail grades made up of four H8s and three O8s (plain old Fs in old money) another Irish tradition has been lost to the woke mob who not so secretly run the world. Is nothing sacred?

All in the name of inclusion, the Irish Times has ditched its longstanding practice of placing the beaming smiles of 600-plus point Leaving Cert high achievers on their front page, preferring instead to show local Waterford student Craig Laffin.

Laffin, by all accounts a nightmare to teach and denser than a 50ft thick concrete wall, is the first ever straight Fs student to appear on the front page of Leaving Cert results day edition of the paper.

“Smiles and success sell better than tears and turmoil on Leaving Cert results day,” confirmed a photo editor WWN spoke with. “But it was bound to happen one day but if this is ‘progress’ I say nogress”.

Laffin spoke in the interview accompanying the photograph of how he was feeling about his results.

“I’m fairly fucked boi, no matter how many 45-year-old divorced lads jump on Facebook to say it did them no harm I know I’m fucked, I’ve more Fs than a dictionary,” said Laffin.

“We’re very proud of Craig, he’s our first student to appear in the Irish Times without the words ‘charged with’. I think the importance of the Leaving Cert is overemphasised myself, if he gets the head down and works away he’ll be fine,” said Dermot Bollard, principal at St Owen of The Sacred Scrambler Secondary School for Boys.