Here Are The Changes RTÉ’s New Boss Should Make First

KEVIN BAKHURST has been named Dee Forbes successor as director general of the national broadcaster, and his tenure can’t start soon enough with the funding crisis at RTÉ top of the agenda.

It remains to be seen what Bakhurst’s plans are for RTÉ output but what is clear is that there are a number of obvious changes and implementations that need to take place ASAP, such as:

– Double the number of glitzy property shows from its current total of 155 but make sure they only air directly after a Prime Time episode that details the increase in homeless deaths.

– Viewers on the RTÉ Player often complain how the picture quality is unreliable and pixelated while adverts are always delivered in pristine 4k. This needs to change, the ads should come in 3-D and have smell-o-vision.

– TV Licence fee death squads. It’s simple, people who don’t pay the fee will pay with their lives.

– The Late Late Show has had genuine success with its series of special episodes including the Toy Show, Country Special and Valentine’s Day. Further specials are in order – Live From Carandiru Penitentiary in Brazil, The Sex Toy Show and of course a violent Battle Royale in which the last RTÉ employee standing becomes the new Late Late host.

– Top presenters not paid enough – how do you expect to keep Joe Duffy from being snatched away by HBO or Netflix if you’re paying him peanuts.

– Increase the number of amazing movies being show at 11.55pm on a Monday night. The potential audience for watching The Dark Knight to its conclusion at 3am is huge.

– Send Tommy Tiernan’s show to the next level. Sure, it’s fun watching him chat with Roy Keane but what if The Monk or Vladimir Putin were to walk out next?

– More Irish versions of UK shows, nothing says ‘reflecting contemporary Irish life, society and culture’ like than an inferior show to the one Irish people already watch on BBC or Channel 4.