“Where’s The Poetry Quoting Leprechaun?” Disappointed Biden Asks Varadkar
US PRESIDENT Joe Biden has expressed his confusion and disappointment at the realisation that it is Leo Varadkar rather than Micheal D. Higgins he is receiving as Ireland’s head of state on St Patrick’s Day.
“There’s been a mix up the Irish guy, you know the one. Quotes poetry, has dogs taller than him. Looks like an extra from The Shire. He’s great craic as you Irish guys say but who the fuck is this guy,” said Biden, staring at Varadkar with intense disappointment.
Biden’s demeanour only deflated further as he tried to engage Varadkar in conversation only for the Taoiseach to speak at length about his fridge set up and meal prep routine.
“How much do we need the Good Friday Agreement? I can’t guys, I can’t” Biden begged in whispers to his aides, as he endured what felt like hours of the driest conversation in human history.
“Nixon got Elivs dropping into the White House to ask for an FBI badge, and this is what I get?” an ashen faced Biden sighed.
Biden only perked up when introduced to the Taoiseach’s partner, prompting Biden to tell a series of increasing off colour and offensive jokes that began with ‘what do you call a gay Irishman’.