The Fine Gael Voter’s Guide To Solving Anti-Social Behaviour In Ballyfermot
SCENES of flagrant anti-social behaviour which resulted in the assault of one garda have shocked the country and seen every Fine Gael voting dad within a 500 mile radius produce a dossier they have collated filled with surefire solutions to such issues.
“I call it The Fermot Solution” said one Fine Gael voter, who had fully costed buying a nuclear warhead from North Korea to use to level Ballyfermot.
“You don’t need trials, that’s yet more waste of my tax, just round up anyone in a Canada Goose jacket that isn’t my son and bring back the death penalty,” confirmed another FG stalwart.
“Put them to work, no not in a business per say, in the fields. Have them all linked by chains, and don’t pay them they don’t deserve it. Now I say it out loud it sounds familiar, so someone’s done this before somewhere and it’s worked,” shared one Leo follower.
“Coat the seats on all scramblers in a gel that makes men sterile, Bob’s your uncle,” uttered at least a dozen people WWN spoke with.
“Everyone knows my opinion on roving secret army death squads but at some point we have to forgo our beliefs in favour of law and order. Or at very least Escape From New York-it, wall off the feral feckers,” confirmed Fine Gael’s resident film buff.
“Actually I saw the Israelis do something very interesting recently, they evicted the extended families of a Palestinian youth who committed murder, there’s an idea. Keep it strictly to things like driving scramblers on a roundabout and murders though, not fraud or tax evasion,” shared one businessman.
“Animals that’s all they are, they should be in a zoo… wait now there’s an idea, what if we threw them into the gorilla enclosure and sold it as a Pay Per View event. I’m just thinking of the Foreign Direct Investment that this would surely bring in,” suggested one entrepreneur.
“Now I’m not a fan of his now but these young men are aimless, they need guidance, could this Andrew Taint fellow not provide that? On a consultancy basis? Off the books if needed,” offered a PR consultant and FG voter.
“Hire more guards, but I reserve the right to complain about the guards and how they’re thick as shit, on too much pay and that anyone could sit around a desk all day,” confirmed the majority.