Government Heard Somewhere Tomorrow’s Housing Protest Cancelled So No Point Going Now

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NOT sure on its source or where the rumour started but the government feels a responsibility to the public to let them know they heard tomorrow’s housing protest in Dublin has been called off.

“Yeah mad, we thought it was going ahead too but honestly save yourself the journey. Would hate to see travel all the way in and look stupid when you realise no one is there,” the government said of the Raise the Roof protest which was set to start at Parnell Square at 1pm tomorrow Saturday the 26th of November.

“We just couldn’t in good conscious have the public spending bus fare and petrol money or wasted time walking in when we heard from a fellow we know who went to school with the fellow who does up them ‘fuck the government’ signs who said the protest was only set up as a joke ‘cus obviously we’ve been knocking it out of the park, housing wise”.

Other reasons the protest isn’t going ahead, according to WhatsApp rumours circulated by the coalition parties include:

Level 5 Covid lockdown in place in Dublin for 24 hours only

Met Éireann have issued a dark purple snow warning.

Placard makers are on strike tomorrow.

Everyone is really happy with the housing situation in Ireland.

The seagulls have overrun Dublin and declared it a no-go zone for humans.

John Waters and Gemma O’Doherty will be there and you don’t want to look like them

All landlords are doing spot checks on their apartments at the same time so all tenants must remain at home.

Dublin is closed because it is on holidays this weekend.

If you don’t attend, there’s a free gaff in it for you.