Let That Be A Lesson To You All About Joining Religious Terror Organisations That Aren’t Irish

ANYONE thinking about taking up the gun in the name of religion other than Catholicism or Protestantism should look to Dundalk woman Lisa Smith as a deterrent, after the former Irish soldier was this morning handed a 15 month sentence for joining ISIS.

The sentence, one of the harshest ever handed down to a female Irish soldier for fleeing to Syria and joining an Islamic death cult, was put in place as a warning to anyone thinking of following in Smith’s footsteps, after her defence team’s pleas of ‘ah she’ll not do it again’ and ‘isn’t being from Dundalk punishment enough’ fell on deaf ears.

“Oh, no Good Friday Agreement for me I see, that’s just lovely,” Smith was heard to say, as she was strapped to a Hannibal Lecter-style trolley at the behest of the waiting media and wheeled out of the courts today.

“Listen, if you had joined up with a group of lads murdering and mutilating in the name of Catholicism or even at a push Protestantism, we could have had some sympathy for you. Maybe even a jaunty Irish ballad or two,” she was told, before being sent away for jail and a long think about things.

As internet comments sections began to complain about how none of their suggested punishments were considered by judges in the sentencing of Smith, the 40-year-old was already beginning her daring escape, tunneling her way from Mountjoy to Syria with a spoon.