Nationwide Cost Of Living Protests Cancelled As People Can’t Afford Petrol To Get There


A SERIES of protests scheduled to take place in Dublin, Sligo, Cork, Limerick, Galway and Belfast this Saturday have been cancelled due to the price of petrol.

While thousands were expected to line the streets to protest the costly nature of simply trying to exist in Ireland, many have had to regretfully pull out after an anxiety ridden check of her their bank balance.

“If I head into town for that, then I’ll have to top the car up and I was planning on running on fumes until at least Tuesday,” shared one woman, incensed and deflated by the impoverished state she finds herself in every month once bills and rent are paid.

Government ministers have preemptively hog-tied and muzzled Eamon Ryan before he has the chance to get before a microphone and suggest buying €150,000 lettuce-powered electric cars as a means to save on costs.

While opposition parties attending the protests have insisted the protests can still go ahead if people just claim it back on expenses like they do.

“Even with the 20% reduction in public transport, I’m just a bit nervous using money for a fare on Saturday that I may need next week before pay day lands,” shared one man, who was all set to rage against the indifference displayed by many politicians.

Further issues were encountered when protesters saw the cost of wooden sticks, sheets of paper and markers required to right slogan on placards.

“I want to write a long winded and detailed rebuttal of the out-of-touch government who seem indifferent to the plight of working families but I also need this marker to last me the next decade,” said one protester who just went with ‘shower of bastards!’ in the end.