Ireland Loved Having Ukrainian Refugees, Getting A Bit Late Now Though


FEARS are growing among Irish people that over 25,000 Ukrainian refugees may not be heading home any time soon, having failed to take the offer of a late cup of tea as a hint that they’d outstayed their welcome.

“It’s an unspoken rule; if an Irish person offers you ‘another’ cup of tea after half ten, that’s not actually the offer of a cup of tea. That’s your cue to say ‘no, you’re grand, we’re heading off’,” explained a government expert in Irish passive-aggressiveness.

“But the Ukrainians have actually taken us up on it! This is a sign that we could be looking at a shortage of accommodation before the summer. When we said ‘head on over, it’ll be grand’, we really didn’t think we’d have to put these people up for so long. And now we can’t just tell them we’re full, or to go home. We have to bring them to the realisation that it’s time to go by themselves”.

Techniques to achieve this include:

– Frequent comments on incoming bad weather, and how anyone wanting to avoid it should probably head off now.
– Inquiries about whether or not the Ukrainians ‘have work in the morning’.
– A preliminary tidy-up around them to signify that it’s time to go, possibly leading to the raking, cleaning, and re-setting of a fireplace if it comes to it.

Meanwhile, there are reports of several people who truly believe that fleeing their war torn homeland was some sort of ‘long game’ played by Ukrainians to get a sweet free dorm room in Mill Street or a tent in the Curragh.