Man To Trial Hybrid Working Model Of Just Not Bothering His Arse Some Days


AS THE way we work has changed for many people in the last few years and employers offer ‘blended work’ involving some days at home and some in the office, one enterprising Waterford man is looking to push the envelope and reinvent the working week as we know it.

“I’ve my own model of hybrid working that I’ve asked the bosses if I can trial,” explained Paul Handford, employee at Summerhill Solutions.

“Let’s be honest you can’t keep the intensity and focus up 9-to-5, 5 days a week so I’m just asking you to designate some days as ‘not arsed’ days,” Handford said in a pitch to his employers.

Known company wide as a good and productive member of staff Handford’s disclosure that he would like to maybe just half-ass it on Wednesdays and the odd Monday by flicking on The Chase, playing Assassin’s Creed or just falling asleep on the couch could revolutionise flexible working.

“I won’t know ’til the morning of, which I understand makes it harder for you as bosses, but c’mon we’ve all had those days where it’s like ‘fuck it’, but why should I as an employee have to go full Meryl Streep acting and fake an illness to pull a sicky for it? I’m asking for you to meet me halfway here,” said Handford on a Zoom call live from his lap while he was on the toilet.

Handford’s request was rejected with bosses citing severe downturn in productivity but have been accused of partaking in a similar practice for decades with things called ‘meeting ran late’ and ‘lunch with clients’.