Increase The Energy Efficiency Of Your Home With These Simple Tips

THE government’s new €8bn retrofitting scheme aims to boost the efficiency rating of thousands of homes at a time when money is tighter than ever… but what energy-saving options are there for families who can’t afford to spend upwards of €50,000 and then claim 50% back through tax credits at a later date? Here’s some options:

1) Become a hoarder

Anyone who has watched the harrowing reality TV show Hoarders will know that some people live in horrific conditions due to their compulsion to hoard old newspapers and rubbish in their homes. What you may not know is that newspaper is an excellent insulator, and those same hoarders who are living in misery probably have pretty low heating bills. Worth considering if you live in dread of the gas bill every month.

2) Replace your boiler with your kids running on a wheel

Solve two problems at once with this innovative alternative to conventional gas boilers. Simply construct a human-sized hamster wheel connected to a dynamo to generate electricity and heat for your home, while combating childhood obesity issues by putting your kids on it every evening for three to four hours.

If you don’t have kids, run on it yourself. You’ll work up a sweat and probably not need to turn the heat on. Win-win!

3) For once, listen to your Dad

They say Joseph knew Jesus had risen from the dead, when he saw that the entrance to the tomb was left wide open. So has been the case for families for thousands of years; a never-ending battle between fathers and their kids to keep the damn doors and windows closed.

In a time when the only solution to soaring energy costs is to invest tens of thousands of euro into retrofitting your home in a government scheme that’s bound to be riddled with loopholes and cronyism, surely it’s worth listening to Dad on this issue, for once in your life? Is that too much to ask?