Aung San Suu Kyi Unlikely To Get Any Songs This Time


DAMIEN Rice and Lisa Hannigan have been told that their services to Aung San Suu Kyi are not needed at this time, as the deposed Myanmar leader’s current incarceration isn’t as easily adaptable to song as it was the last time.

Suu Kyi had been the basis of the Irish pair’s 2005 hit ‘Unplayed Piano’, released as part of a protest movement surrounding the activist’s periods of arrest and detention from 1995 onwards, and had served as a key element of slow set shifting sections in Irish nightclubs that thought it was just about a piano around that time.

However the 76-year-old’s current 4-year sentence following a military coup in February has been deemed ‘all a little complicated’, and as such is unlikely to fit the structure of a 4-minute pop song time around.

“It was really easy last time – an activist wrongly jailed, couldn’t play her piano, all very marketable. But this time we’re not even sure if she’s the good guy” explained an industry insider, who specialises in simplifying international politics for pop consumption.

“Suu Kyi was kinda on everyone’s shitlist after failing to help the Rohingya muslims in Myanmar a few years ago, there’s claims of election fraud and military interference and y’know, who needs to sit down and study all that? It’s a bit busy over there at the minute, best just not draw too much attention to it”.

Meanwhile Suu Kyi’s incarceration has been met with a firm ‘eh, ok I suppose’ by the international community, who have more to be dealing with at the minute and besides, it’s only Myanmar, is that even a real place?