Frontline Bank Holiday Reduced To Bank Lunch Break


CONFUSED as how it turned a new bank holiday into national clusterfuck that made people angry, the government cicrculated yet more unconfirmed leaks around the proposed holiday for frontline workers, WWN can confirm.

“We’re looking at Saint Bridget’s Day, possibly Patrick’s day, who knows what we’re at?” a source neither denied or confirmed, “basically we’re just going to throw a load of shit ideas on the media wall, read the comments, and see what sticks, stinks”.

Despite the fact frontline workers are essential shift workers who aren’t entitled to bank holidays anyway, the Taoiseach hinted the bank holiday may not be reoccurring, but more of a ‘bank lunch break’ instead.

“Ha-ha, you didn’t actually think we’d give you an extra bank holiday every year, did you?” Martin scoffed, trying to contain his laughter, “deary me, give you people an inch and you’d take a kilometre”.

“Actually, the start of February is a bad time for hospital overcrowding so we’ll probably scrap that date,” he added, “also, A&E departments will be jam packed on Saint Patrick’s Day too – so that’s out. How about February 30th? Yeah, that’s perfect now I think about it”.

Echoing the Taoiseach, Tánaiste Leo Varadkar insisted that just talking about the bank holiday should be enough, concluding ‘it’s the thought that counts’.