British Public Not Sure Whether To Believe Lying Sack Of Shit Over Self-Serving Bullshitter


BRITAIN enters its second day agonising over whether or not to believe a self-serving bullshitter who is a thinly veiled psychopath over the sociopathic lying sack of shit they call ‘Boris’.

Revelations from Dominic Cummings appearance before Parliamentary Committee yesterday continues to send shockwaves through the part of Britain that is still shocked by how insidious, inept and dishonest its politics is, with many struggling over which account of the government’s initial pandemic response to believe.

“This Cummings guy blatantly lied throughout the Brexit referendum and has so eroded people’s trust in politics that we just presume everyone is lying, but can I trust him more than Johnson who’s only lied to the Queen, his wife, his mistresses, everyone he’s ever known and won’t even tell us how many kids he has? Oh, I am torn,” shared one member of the public.

“If you told me Johnson outright rejects Cummings claims thousands died needlessly by saying ‘actually I quite enjoyed watching’. It would sound like Johnson alright, but then again Cummings drove to a castle to test his eyesight, maybe he drove to the Committee to see how much of his self serving bullshit we’d absorb?” pondered another.

The debate over whether Britain wants to live in something approaching reality faces its sternest challenge yet as health secretary Matt Handcock continues to deny saying things he is recorded on video as saying.

“Oh come on it’s not like someone died,” confirmed one man whose memory seemed to be completely erased now that he’s able to go for a pint in a pub again.

Elsewhere, the British media has reported being ‘shocked’ by the revelations despite the fact the very same things were reported by their own reporters a year ago when it was all met with a collective shrug of the shoulders and absolutely zero calls for the heads of those responsible for fatal incompetence.