Revealed: Why Kids Love Touchscreen Devices With Access To Content Tailored To Their Every Whim

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CHILD psychologists believe they may be inching closer to understanding why kids of all ages love using tablet devices so much, following an exhaustive 5-year study into the link between curious young minds and access to the entire archive of human experience, WWN can report.

“Almost 100% of kids will keep themselves content when handed an iPad, it’s really quite incredible” said Dr. Alphonse Camerrera, chief spokesperson for the Kids These Days research group.

“It’s the one-stop solution for parents that need five minutes, and we’re very close to finding out why. Could it be a never-ending flow of dopamine from the constantly changing colours and sounds, or could it be the fact that kids can have the exact experience they’re craving, delivered to their fingertips instantaneously? We expect we’re less than a year away from answering the question ‘what do they be doing on them tablets all day'”.

Seeking more information, WWN attempted to interview some of the test children, only to find they were too involved with their tablet time to actually answer.

We were only able to get a grunt or two from 11-year old Phillip who was busy herding virtual giraffes around a virtual zoo in exchange for virtual money, while 6-year old Erica simply needed help spelling out ‘glitterball surprise’ into the YouTube Kids search box, before dismissing us.

“It’s really a wonderful solution for parents who need a breather, and so far we haven’t found a kid that dislikes it” Dr. Camerrera beamed.

“If giving kids iPads was a mineral, it’d be asbestos. Quick, cheap, easy, versatile, no bad side effects. No wait, they did find some side effects with Asbestos, didn’t they? Ok, maybe something else. Constant iPad use almost certainly has no ill effects on a growing mind, we’re grand!”.

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