SO YOU’RE in a car; driver, passenger or person in the middle of a car-jacking and you’ve pulled on your seat belt with much haste, causing the seat belt to jam.
It’s the nightmare scenario of heightened frustration that drives any reasonable person mad. But did you know there’s an easy fix for such things?
WWN’s motoring expert David Steering has all you need to know:
Pull harder stupid
Fuck sake, stupid fucking seat belt.
Pull faster for Christ sake
Pulling harder is no use unless you’re also pulling faster. Amateur hour.
Now is an ideal time to get into an argument with a fellow car passenger about how they think you just need to take it slowly and that you’re doing it ‘all wrong’.
Start swearing and thrashing around the car
Doesn’t matter if you’re a getaway driver trying to flee a bank robbery and evade the police, if that stubborn seat belt won’t comply there’s only one thing for it; more swearing and throwing your body about in frustration.
“Stupid fucking prick of a thing, fucking work will ya!” is a good start.
Calm down, relax
Take long measured and calming breaths in and out. This way, you can slyly convince the seat belt you’ve settled down. And just when the bastard of a seat belt is at ease and no longer on high alert, you can sneak up on it and that’s the time to strike!
Pull, pull, pull!!!
The seat belt didn’t see it coming, the perfect cri… fuck sake this fucking belt won’t fucking work. Just keep pulling, nearly dislocating your shoulder with the effort, to teach this prick of a thing a lesson.
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