FOLLOWING several long haul flights to and from China to secure vital personal protection equipment (PPE) for health workers on the front line, embarrassed officials have confirmed the entirety of the incoming shipments to be made up of sexy nurse uniforms, usually worn by women to Halloween parties.
Making the best of a bad situation, medical staff reluctantly accepted their new attire due to time restraints and the impending pandemic sweeping the nation’s shores, but admitted the garments were not ideal, or the best fitting.
“These skirts are very short, but I do like the air blowing between my legs,” insisted 48-year-old ICU intensivist Dr. Jamal Patel, who opted for a size 12 number which had a large unofficial medical cross on its lapel, “the stethoscopes don’t work either and the silly hats keep falling off, but at least the face masks are in some way usable”.
HSE officials admitted that they probably shouldn’t have ordered the €208 million consignment from Chinese shopping website, Wish, defending the move by stating the ‘pictures looked like the real thing’ at the time when they purchased them online.
“Easy mistake in fairness, but some of the staff look hot and we hope it may just keep patients lucid during these difficult times,” a spokesperson said, before adding, “at least we managed to keep Shane Ross from photo-bombing the Aer Lingus flight pictures – that was a big part of this effort”.
With the peak of the Coronavirus estimated to be two weeks away, the HSE are asking members of the Irish public to offer their help and support HERE , and you can fund the supply of meals to healthcare workers ,strong>HERE.