Local Mother Issues Official Apology For State Of Car

WATERFORD mum-of-Three Collette Fitzgarren has issued her fifth formal apology of the day for the state of the back seat of her 162 Nissan Juke, placing blame on her kids for the mess but also accepting blame for not getting around to cleaning it.

Fitzgarren made the apologies while on her daily messages in and around Waterford city, where she collected and chatted with a number of friends and neighbours along the way, ashamedly begging for forgiveness for ‘the dirt of the car’.

Brushing aside a chicken fillet roll wrapper and a half-eaten push-pop to allow her friend Alice to get into the front seat, Fitzgarren went on record as stating she was ‘mortified’ at the mess her car was in, but stressing that ‘there’s room there, jump in’.

“Ah, sure you know yourself with the kids and that” offered Fitzgarren, attempting to shift the blame for the weeks-old mess.

“And I only had it clean the other day”, she added, lying.

“I’ll have to get himself to do the back of it now at the weekend” she added, alluding to her husband Mark who has no intention to clean the car, any more than she does.

The Fitzgarren children were available as witnesses in the back seat of the car, but were not given the chance to have their testimony heard.